There aren’t many stories about angels, apart from the Bible of course. Though angels are often walking amongst us, looking just like us, and only if we’d focus very hard, closing out all confusing lies of circumstances and every-days, only then we will realize how much different they actually are. And then, when on a day similar to this one, an angel disappears from our life to move back to Heaven, a smile breaks through our tears, and we understand. And we know.
I’m not saying it’s easy to write through my tears, but I’m also smiling, because I’ve always known somewhere deep inside, but now it broke out into the open, that I know and love a real Angel. And even though I won’t ever be able to hug her again, and I won’t ever hear her laugh or sing (however both were the most amazing music to ears, I remember), she will still be here in and around me until my heart beats, and I hope I’ll meet her again one day, over there… Over there, where the other angels seem paler and less beautiful right now, because she arrived, and nobody has ever been and nobody will ever be braver or stronger than her.
I read an interview the other day in a nameless magazine. The kind of writing you only read because it’s your lunch break and you’re eating alone and you’re bored. But I really liked one of the questions: “What do you want to be remembered of?” I was thinking about it ever since, what would my reply be? What will people remember me of? What would I want them to think when they’ll remember me? Maybe one day, when I’ll know myself fully, this will be an easy question.
There are some people in my life who are easy to describe with only a few words, because some of their qualities sort of define them, tell them apart from the others and raise them from the average.
Faith.
Strength.
Hope. Mostly ope.
And above all, Bravery.
Because is there, could there possibly be anyone braver than the one who’s been through all hells on earth, who’s experienced all pains, lived through all fears, and is still smiling, and still loves to LIVE?
I am happy, because she is in a beautiful and peaceful place now, where there is no more pain and no more fear. (And she can see everything from there. Even the sea. I think she’s probably watching the sea right now, the red gold of the setting sun reflecting on the waves.)
I am happy, because I could know her and love her and I can remember her.
I am happy, because she was so very close to my heart, and so I can feel this pain now, the pain of loss, the shocking depths of mourn, like never before, and so I feel how real and amazing a force love is, that binds the hearts here on earth.
