Toooooo muchhhhh

And when you think everything’s alright, your system throws up the sponge. You lead yourself on that “I can stand it”, but sadly it seems you can’t. An ordinary Tuesday afternoon, after you finished your work and ran out to the city to sort your things out, suddenly you feel you have to lay down. It’s only 5 p.m… your shoulders get cramped and you barely can move your arms. You don’t feel sick, you just have to sleep. You don’t come to yourself till 11 p.m., and then you feel seriously bad. Qualm, weakness, extreme thirst… Temperature, dejection. Nothing hurts. But something’s just ain’t right.

This is just too much, too much what’s happening to me, around me, in me. I can’t stand it, I should stop, but how? Wish I had one, just one thing in my life that’s sure… Something I can hold on to, something I can tie my balloon to… But it seems this is the time of flying free, and this is a bit sickening. My earth-being fights against my air-being. My roots are spearing up free and vulnerable, because I pulled them out cruelly. Their home, the foundations of my former life, are like a gaping wound on the ground. Do the trees know how to fly? May they fly at all? Or should I leave this all behind, and transform to one single winged seed? That one day, hopefully not too far, will arrive somewhere else, and strikes new roots?

Nobody’s holding my hand. And so, of course, nobody’s pulling me back.

The stranger

It’s all over, I’m not traveling anymore
No adventures are waiting for me there in the Far West
East and West and all the sweet dreams
No matter how my heart aches, you have to get to know:

I won’t be here tomorrow
Different idea, different habits
New country, new adventures
But the girls are nice there as well

And sometimes I feel that it hurts still
And sometimes I wish to go back
From where no one’s been before
From where no one waited for me before

East and West and all the sweet dreams
No matter how my heart aches, you have to get to know:
I won’t be here tomorrow
Different idea, different habits
New country, new adventures
But the girls are nice there as well

And the girls are nice here as well…

~ by ronika on December 10, 2008.